Listen -

Times like this I sit and listen to myself, I ask so many others their opinion, yet always go with my own feelings, I feel like there is alot of unsaidness in my heart, I have been holding back my feelings from myself, I've been like on auto pilot working like crazy to pay bills, but now I sit down and realize the cells in my body are screaming at me, but what do they say? I have to listen, I took a second shower earlier today and thought, "I'm going to meditate afterwards", I get super excited about meditation, like you wouldn't believe or maybe you would. I want that feeling after meditation, when your like, Oh my gosh, I LOVE Clarity! You know what I mean. After that shower I was like, Oh but wait, I need to cut up fruit for the kids" and so on. So my day goes like that. I wanna listen so badly, I promise body, I promise I'll start listening. lol I keep saying. So meditation will probably be my next thing to embark upon. I feel like it has become a job, to meditate. Doesn't sound very spiritual or enlightened, right? Anyhow, practicality took precedence over everything else lately. Priorities showed me where to focus, and I did, I worked double shifts for three months straight, but something inside me, feelings, whew..I can't explain, wanting to be expressed, so in 'alone' time I would exercise, think, overthink, ruminate, watch tv or read a tiny bit... but that's not listening. I even had a dream a month ago, then woke from the dream, not dreaming anymore I heared angels, saying "I'm so tired, trying to make you see?' I was thinking, WHAT?! Tired trying to make me see, see what?! So now, I'm sitting here like, hmmm. It'll come!! Maybe it's already here!