Sunday, March 24, 2013
The old me is no longer me, but a memory. I feel ready to release another layer. I visualize a fire burning in my belly, aching to explode. I am starting to understand now how to let things unfold. I allow myself to stay in a natural flow and this energy I am feeling feels exactly part of my growth. Feels like I am in a phase of renewal. But with renewal there is release. I do not know who I am going to be, but I know for sure I am shedding a part of me..
We all have choices. I choose to be healthy, with the occasional bout of indulging. If you are craving a change or something to bring you to life. I have a definite way to help you embrace a new day. Choose small steps, small meaning one thing at a time. If you feel exhausted, begin to try and simplify your schedule or delegate small tasks. If you are feeling unheard at work, begin to communicate a little more. If you do not feel as if you matter, look yourself in the eyes and say, "you do matter". In the beginning it may feel like work, like a chore possibly or I could be wrong and you may be very excited for this type of change. One thing I do understand, is that beginning to make small changes is like being there for yourself like a friend would be. You start seeing what could be. You start having more energy, with healthy change, you lose a sense of stagnation in your life that could leave you feeling a little heavy. Try to let go of worry a little bit, trade massage with a friend or simply add more play to your day. Trust me, I am no expert, but just sharing some tips from how I choose to be healthy. Healthy oils really promote wellness too. Flax oil, coconut oil, olive oil, ghee clarified butter, walnut oil and grape seed oil are very good choices to add to your lifestyle, some may be used for massage, skincare or as part of our diets.
Oh, Where do I begin, I am totally stirred up. I feel anticipation like you would not believe. I have learned in the last two days that I am holding onto too much. It is clouding everything that I see, sense and feel. I have cleaned out an entire space in my home to create an Altar. I have been craving this altar and space just for me for so long. I finally said, yes to me with this particular project. It gives me room to breathe. I LOVE YOU MOMMY SINCERELY PARIS 7:44 pm.
I walked away from my blog for a sec, and my daughter posted a message up above. How Cute.
Well anyhow, I feel like there is a place in me that desires a stronger knowing of myself. I want to face fears and feel everything buried deep inside, even if I have to cry and cry. I feel like I want to go on a journey deep deep deep inside, through meditation I want to glide through all that is hiding. I can tell this is going to be one hell of a ride of even greater self discovery and another chance for growth in much more faith and hope. I crave true wisdom through my self, when I take the time to go within, to really listen, the light in me begins to soar and I feel ready to step through another door.
Friday, March 22, 2013
Sun is shining, mind is going a mile a minute, hard to translate what is coming in, I have these moments that I cannot hear what my belly says, the infinite wisdom in me seems to be playing hide and go seek. It feels really foreign to me. I do not understand this feeling of uncertainty. When will the tides change, or is this all a climate shift. I would really like to know, because with any doubt I am told, I am shoved back up with tremendous appreciation of what I behold. It is magical you see, I sense a balance of energy emerging deep within me, maybe my belly will begin again to share thoughts with me.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Obsessions in love, I only want to fit him like a glove, I try every which way to make you stay, only for you to go away. I need you, but I do not know how to go about, keeping you by my side, because as you grow close, I hide. Try me next year at this same time, maybe then I could make you mine, much as I try to bring you close, my heart beats fast at the thought of the word, close. Can you wait for me, to get this thing called, dating? I have no idea what to do, you keep me extremely puzzled like a fool. I want to give up on Romantic Love, because it seems common for me to end up confused and full of mistrust. You left me incredibly blushed, I thought I could not get enough, just as you pull away. I begin to think about you all day. I dream, I write, I watch the sky, I exercise all with one thought, that the beautiful question is popped. One day it will or will not. But for now I will stop. Something else needs me, that is my lost self esteem.
Monday, March 4, 2013
So Disneyland, all I can say is Disneyland has been running through my world these days. Okay, I had this dream about one month or so ago, and in that particular dream, one of my favorite mentors had Disney pictures hanging all over his office. Now that was that. Then about three days ago at work a mother had mentioned just coming back from Disneyland, and we discussed Disneyland for twenty minutes. As she left, another mother came in and I blurt out, "Oh my gosh, That is so wild that you are wearing a Disneyland sweater, we were just talking about Disneyland with another mother for soooo long!!" Okay, at this point my mind starts in on the thought, "What does this mean?" Is it just the season for Disneyland? Yes, possibly, but then I think, "well what about the dream?" hmmm, well the other day my daughter mentions that daddy is going to take them to Disneyland later on in the year and how excited she is, I know she just cannot wait. However, today as I get ready to start this blog, I go to a search engine and the first thing I see is a Disney news headline. Now I have absolutely no idea what all this Disney stuff means, but I can only imagine it means that some fun is around the corner or that it means it is time to have some fun. Also my older sister reminded me last year, that as a kid I won a lifetime pass to Disneyland and I was thinking, how cool!! I get in free to Disneyland for the rest of my life.. Nice! But still I am wondering about that dream, What does that mean, Disneyland pictures hanging in this person's office. This shall be on my mind - Disneyland -